Abdulmujeeb Owolabi

Abdulmujeeb OwolabiOct 26, 2026

The tenant in flat three bought an imported split AC from Alaba market. Inverter compressor... Silent mode... Remote control with blue backlight 😌 He called two technicians to mount the outdoor unit straight. Paid for extra copper pipe just so the wire wouldn't show on the parlour wall. Very neat. Very high-end. Then he switched it on, set it to sixteen degrees, and sat down on the sofa. One small problem 😹 Two louvre blades were missing from the window opposite the TV. Not broken. Completely gone. Since December 😫 The heavy chill came out of the vent, passed over his head, and flew straight into the compound compound heat. By 2 PM, the compressor was sweating like a labourer and the room was still hot as pepper soup. Oga, nobody's parlour cools down while the window is wide open. That missing glass is your landing page. You spent $2,500 on Meta and LinkedIn ads this month. The creative is clean. The copywriter did five revisions. The click-through rate is dancing on the dashboard 🤭 Then twelve hundred people click the link and arrive at your website. No clear headline. The primary button says "Learn More" instead of taking their money. The checkout form asks for a company registration number just to download a ten-dollar template 🥴 And on mobile network, the banner takes seven seconds to show its face. So the twelve hundred visitors walk quietly through the window and back into the street. The ad account spent all the fuel, but the room is still completely dry 😭 Nobody fixes a cold room by buying a bigger air conditioner. You buy two pieces of glass and seal the window first. P.S. Count your ad spend last month. Now count the hours spent fixing your actual checkout page. If the second number is zero, you're cooling the entire street 👀

Abdulmujeeb OwolabiOct 27, 2026

A man selling plantain chips ran alongside our Danfo at the traffic light. Three packs balanced on his wrist. I stretched my hand through the rusty window. "How much?" I shouted over the engine noise. He looked up at me. "It is fried with pure groundnut oil, zero cholesterol, and hygienically packed." 😩 Oga, nobody asked for a chemistry lecture. The conductor was already hitting the yellow roof with his hand: "Oya move, move, move!" I had a crumpled ₦500 note ready, but the boy was still explaining the groundnut oil. The driver slammed the accelerator. I stayed hungry. He kept his chips 😹 That boy is your SaaS landing page. A founder visits your website on mobile while waiting for a meeting. He has three seconds before his screen locks. Instead of answering "What does this cost?" or "Where do I sign up?", you gave him: "We leverage paradigm-shifting frameworks to optimize stakeholder bandwidth." 🥱 Nobody buys because your English is heavy. They buy because you told them what it is before the bus drove off. P.S. When someone lands on your site, do they get a clear price or a lecture? 🤭

Abdulmujeeb OwolabiOct 23, 2026

The doctor scribbled three wavy lines on the prescription sheet. No vowels... No consonants... Just a cardiogram with ink. He folded it, looked the patient in the eye, and said, "Take this before meals." 😌 The chemist squinted at the paper for five minutes. Turned it upside down... Held it up to the fluorescent light bulb... Scratched his ear. Then he reached into the back drawer and dispensed rat poison with complete confidence 😭 The patient didn't die only because his wife noticed the skull and crossbones on the sachet. When the doctor was confronted, he adjusted his glasses and looked offended. "That was Latin for penicillin," he said. "The chemist clearly lacks clinical context." 😩 Oga, nobody lacks context. Your handwriting is just a hazard to human life. 😂 That doctor’s pen is your Web3 landing page. The protocol built a beautiful liquidity engine, which is fine. Then the team opened the website and wrote: "A trustless, modular, zero-knowledge execution layer leveraging cryptographic primitives for permissionless state transition." 🥱 Chai. English from the mountain top. Meanwhile, the boy with fifty dollars on his phone is standing at the gate. He only has three questions: Where do I click? How much is the gas fee? If my money hangs, whose office am I going to? 🤭 Instead, you gave him six paragraphs of academic thesis and an invitation to read the yellow paper. If your user needs a dictionary to give you money, you didn't build a product—you built an exam. 🥴 People don't run from crypto because they hate decentralisation. They run because they feel like they are about to drink rat poison by mistake. P.S. Which hero text makes you click faster? A: "Send money anywhere in 3 seconds for 2 cents." B: "A permissionless, non-custodial cross-chain bridging engine." Type A or B. One letter is enough 👀